The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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