I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
