At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
