i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Your cock deserves a montage
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
