wrigley field is MILF paradise
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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