hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
