the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
