And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
