I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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