I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
