Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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