It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
