stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
