How'd it feel making her break her religion?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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