I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
