You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
