I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
