He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
