You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
