I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
