My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
