i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
