yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
