$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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