I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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