I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
