what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think my vagina is haunted
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
