im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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