just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
