Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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