Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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