i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
