I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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