she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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