Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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