Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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