whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He felt like a one man threesome
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
