he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
