I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
