I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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