dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
