Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How does it feel to date your dad?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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