I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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