So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
