Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
