its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
