It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
