Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
