i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
