I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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